Weight Watchers: Wait, What?

Okay……so, I have a confession to make. And if you read the title of this blog you will know what it is. Ha!

Yep, that’s right. I took the plunge. I decided to try and get into the solution over my current addiction (food) and take some action to try and develop a healthy relationship with it.

Weight Watchers, here I come!

After contemplating the last several years of my life I realized that I either am always:

A)   Starving myself—by eating ultra healthy, running like a Fein, being a perfectionist in the area of diet and exercise, telling myself I’m awesome

to

B) Binging on junk food, being as lazy as possible, shirking my responsibilities, talking negative towards myself

And it has to stop. It really does. I’m sick of it. It has caused me enough pain and I’m ready to take some action against it.

I honestly never considered Weight Watchers because I’ve never really been “over weight”. I have been heavier at times than others but I never have really gotten above a size 8.

But it’s not just the weight thing that’s an issue. It’s my unhealthy relationship with food; always either obsessing too much about it or not enough about it; eating too much or not enough; Thinking about all the time, judging myself based on what I eat or don’t eat.

ENOUGH I tell you!

I ran into a co-worker of mine at a shower for a friend of ours the other weekend. She looked more amazing than usual—with this beautiful glow about her. and when I told her how outstanding she looked she replied, “why thank you girl, it’s all due to Weight Watchers!”. WOW. It got my little mind to thinking.

And then when I posted this post last Thursday, I realized that I was at the point to where I would be willing to try something different. Very similar to how I felt (in a completely different way of course) when I knew I was done with drinking and wanted to try A.A.

So, I called her. And we talked and talked and shared and I realized that this is something that I need. I need others that are like me, to help me with this unhealthy relationship I’ve had or developed towards food. I need accountability and motivation. And I love the fact that by doing this, I will help others do the same! Weight Watchers offers all of that and more by what I’ve seen and learned and I am very excited about taking this step forward in my life!

I have to be honest with you though. At first, when I first admitted to myself that I have a problem with food and would be willing to try Weight Watchers, I felt like a failure. I felt a lot of shame and guilt and was almost embarrassed telling people what I was doing. It’s hard admitting you have a problem. I’ve done it a lot now and although it does get easier, it’s still hard.

But it’s also comforting to know that I am not alone. I can’t tell you how many people have messaged me telling me their struggles. Whether they are with food, sex, relationships, shopping, alcohol, drugs—everyone DOES struggle with something; with being too perfect, or not perfect enough; with parenting and marriage and work; with being too hard on yourself or not hard enough.

Such is Life.

But after I examined why I was embarrassed and ashamed and guilty about confessing to my latest struggle, I realized that it was only because it’s me admitting to you that I’m not perfect.(Again). That I DON’T have it all together; that even though my life has drastically improved over the last 2 years, I still struggle; daily; I still have a very hard time living life on life’s terms.

So there, it’s out of the bag—I’m a food addict and I’m going to do something about it! I go to my first meeting Tuesday at 12. I'll be sure and keep you posted;) 

After I tackle this I’m sure there will be something else, but for right now, I’m okay with the imperfections, I’m okay with this struggle, I’m okay with the path I’m on.

I’m growing, learning, struggling—it’s my journey! And when everything is said and done, I freakin’ love my journey. I love the path I’m on.

And that’s enough right now for me.

“Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle!” ~Swami Sivananda

The Master Cleanse

Happy New Year! 

I hope everyone has gotten off to a good start in 2011. As tradition would beckon, I have once again begun the Master Cleanse. I think I’ve done this cleanse the past 3 new years in a row. I also did the cleanse in  June 2010 and can’t tell you how many amazing benefits I saw as a result of the cleanse.

To gain a better understanding of what the master cleanse is. Please click on the link and read all about it. The web is full of information on the master cleanse.

In a nutshell, the Master Cleanse is this:

§                         The diet takes at least 10 days (up to 40 days, the period of time that Jesus fasted after his baptism, as Burroughs points out)

§                         The only nourishment that you take is a special lemonade concoction made from the Master Cleanse ingredients: lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water, six to twelve glasses per day, each glass containing about 110 calories in sugar carbohydrates

§                         An herbal laxative tea is drunk at night and a quart of salt water is drunk first thing in the morning, resulting in several liquid bowel movements every day — you need to always be near a toilet when you do this diet, and you need to stock up on toilet paper

§                         You come off the diet by transitioning to solid food over a few days, ideally becoming a raw food vegetarian in Stanley Burroughs’ version of the diet.

Why am I doing the master cleanse?

I’ll tell you.

Over the past year and a half I have cut out the majority of my vices. I quit drinking. I quit using mood altering substances, and I quit smoking. But when I cut everything out, my body began to crave sugar. More sugar than normal. In fact, I have eaten more sugar over the past 6 months than I probably ever have in my life. And I’m not just talking about a sweet tooth, I’m talking about butt- loads of candy.

This, as you may guess, is not a good thing.

My remedy to get off of sugar is the Master Cleanse.

I am vowing to stay away from sugar for all of 2011.

Yes, I realize that it may be pushing the envelope a bit but I have found that once I begin to eat sugar (like most everything else in my life) I can’t stop on my own. I am just as addicted to sugar as I was to alcohol and drugs.

So, the master cleanse isn’t really about losing weight for me (although I am elated to drop a few of the 15 pounds I gained during the months of November and December) it’s more about embracing a new life style …a healthier lifestyle. One that does not include sugar.

I will be cleansing from Jan 1^st (today) to January 14^th. I will gradually transition back to solid food beginning January 15^th. I have never done the cleanse for longer than 10 days but I’m really “feeling” it this time. So, I’m going to stretch my limit.

Am I crazy?

Hell yes.

But if you know me, then you already knew that.

 I'm looking forward to spending a lot of time in prayer and meditation for the new year as I cleanse. I'm also excited about reading a book my mother gave me, Imperfect Birds by Anne Lamott.

Here’s to a new year, a new me, and a new you.

Happy 2011!