a farewell to social media--for the time being

After much contemplation I have officially decided it's time to say good-bye to social media for awhile.

There was a twinge of sadness Sunday night after I clicked "yes" to "Are you sure you want to permanently delete your instagram account"? I opened that account (my original handle was Jennanney82 but it had been hippieofhealthcare since the Fall of 2013) in 2010--right before anyone knew what instagram was. In fact, the only reason I downloaded the app was because of my obsession with various photo apps. I had no idea that instagram was a social media site nor anything about following people or that people could follow me. I thought my feed was private until someone asked me why I posted the same picture (of myself) several times with different filters. I was slightly mortified when I realized others could see my posts.

However, after having nearly 1900 photos linked to that account, I decided it's time for a new chapter in my life. I did, however, save all of those delightful photos with the help of instaport so if you are dying to have an old picture of us together then just email me and I'll pull it out of the archives.

I could tell you that the reasons I'm doing this are because social media has a tendency to be a time-waster and a way of sucking you into caring about things you didn't even know existed until you saw it on facebook or instagram. 

 I could tell you that in an attempt to be more mindful, I'm getting rid of unnecessary distractions. 

I could tell you that I've grown tired of knowing what you're doing and where you're going and what you think about the president, religion, and clean-eating. 

I could tell you that I want more for my mind and my brain than to be constantly bombarded with seemingly needless information that typically resides on a very surface level and that it's altered my I.Q to a sub-standard-par that I am no longer okay with. 

And those are factors in my reasoning to get off social media, but the real reason I'm saying good-bye can be said in one simple statement: I need to pass my board exam. 

I'm also getting rid of cable (gasp!).

Given that I'm highly distractible and would much rather study your behavior (especially as it relates to facebook) than study for my boards, I think this a wise move on my behalf. 

I know you will miss my random posts and articles about love & relationships from Elephant Journal and sex, drugs, and rock n' roll from Brain Pickings and culture pieces from The Atlantic--along with pictures of me doing yoga poses in dresses--oh, and let's not forget my affinity for posting deep, meaningful, and usually morbid quotes (like the one below).

"I had a dream you stopped by the shop and helped us get more followers for Facebook and twitter. And then you showed up tomorrow and were like "here!" and you threw 5000 likes on me and it felt like slugs. And smelled like fried chicken. I was so confused. I vomited a rainbow." 

 ~Duane Schor, We Had A #Dream About You 

My facebook profile should be gone by the end of the week. 

I trust that you all will carry on as usual and if anything truly exciting or legendary happens, I insist you let me know. Also, don't forget to remind me of your birthday because without facebook, I have absolutely no idea when your special day of birth is--or any other major event for that matter.

I can't wait to see how many of you are engaged, have had babies, gotten divorced, and started your own non-profit when I decide to rejoin the social media world again. 

Until then, 

I remain,

As always,

Jennifer

31 days of yoga: why i practice

Here's the skinny on the yoga challenge I participated in and common questions I've received....

(And this is the first time I've resurrected this infamous blog in a long time....so this is pretty damn special)

As most of you are well aware, I participated in a 31 day yoga challenge on instagram. It was a challenge presented by a yoga girl who lives in West Palm Beach, FL and her username is BeachYogaGirl. I decided to participate in the challenge because I thought it would be fun and amusing and would also promote the ancient art and practice of yoga.

During the 31 days, I posted a photo a day of whatever the "pose of the day" was. BeachYogaGirl would post a picture/video on instagram of the next day's challenge. The rules I used for myself were that I would not change my environment or outfit in order to post a pose of the day pic. I wanted it to be as authentic as possible which would also allow you to see a little glimpse into my everyday life--where I go, what I do, who I'm with, etc. This means that I did not plan out my pose of the day nor my outfits nor where the picture would be taken. The only pose I did change my clothes for was the day we did splits (hanumasana). I had on jeans and I changed into black yoga pants--no explanation needed there, I think. Other than that, I was pretty true to my personal rules for this challenge.

I received a lot of feedback from all of you. Way more than I expected. I received lots of sweet comments and personal messages from people telling me how much they were enjoying this challenge of mine and asking a lot of questions regarding my yoga practice. Some of you weren't even aware that I practiced yoga--and some of you mistook the pose of the day to mean that I was practicing every single day.

So here is a little history of my yoga story. You can also read a very informative and long blog I wrote about my yoga practice in 2011 here.

When:

I started practicing yoga when I was 19 years old. I originally started taking classes at our local gym in Meridian, MS. I then went to college in Jackson, MS and studied with Scotta Brady at Butterfly Yoga. I moved back to Meridian after college and started practicing and teaching for Theresa Luke who owns Thrive MS (which used to be Laughing Llama and then Maitri Wellness). I practiced at various studios around the country and when I moved back to Jackson in 2009, I started practicing regularly at Butterfly Yoga--which is where I currently practice today.

Who:

I have had the privilege of practicing with a lot of amazing teachers over the years. However, the ones who have had the most influence over me have been Scotta Brady (my current teacher) and Theresa Luke.  I have also studied under and with: Tara Blumenthal, Desiree Rumbaugh, Sean Johnson, Jordan Bloom, Noah Maze, John Friend, Michelle Baker, Jennifer Richard, Andrea Boyd, Alicia Willemet--and I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting. I am truly thankful for each one of these teachers and what they have taught me.

Where:

I currently practice at Butterfly Yoga in Jackson, MS. You can find me in class almost every Monday night at 5:30pm and Thursday night at 6pm. I highly encourage you to attend a class if you haven't yet. There are also a few other yoga studios in the Jackson area who have wonderful teachers and I encourage you to check those out as well.

Why:

This could be a really long answer but I'll try and make it short. I started practicing at 19 years old because I was curious and wanted to do something other than long-distance running. I took ballet lessons from the time I was 5-16 years old and I wanted to incorporate some type of movement-based form of exercise back into my life. I also have always been drawn to eastern philosophy and have always felt a deep connection with Buddhism and Hinduism. To read a full in-depth reason of why I study yoga, please click here. 

How:

Yes, yoga classes can be expensive. But if you aren't members of a gym or do any other type of paid-exercise, it's totally worth it. If you know you can get to more than 2 classes a week, then I would recommend buying a monthly pass to a studio. It's worth it and it will (usually) encourage you to go more regularly. Drop-in classes are usually $15-20 depending on the studio with class packages ranging from $35-100. Again, don't use money as an excuse not to take yoga classes. Everything is based on your perception so if you perceive money as a barrier to studying yoga, then change your perspective;)

What type of yoga:

There are so many different styles of yoga today that it's difficult to know what type you might like (unless you live in a town that has limited studios and types). The most common around these parts is Vinyasa (meaning "Flow" which is also synonymous with Power Yoga) or Hatha (which is a generic term that has come to mean a more gentle type of yoga that focuses on holding each posture for a longer period of time).

I started off practicing Ashtanga, fell in love with Jivamukti, and then primarily practiced Anusara until about 2 years ago when the whole John Friend yoga scandal emerged. Today I would say that I practice an alignment based vinyasa style.

Common Misconceptions about Yoga:

1) You DON'T have to be flexible to practice yoga. If I had a penny for every time someone said to me, "I would love to practice yoga but I'm not flexible" I would be rich (well, not really but rich in pennies). One of the many benefits of yoga is to become more flexible--but it is NOT the point of yoga. 

2) You DON'T have to be into Buddhism or Hinduism to practice. You can totally incorporate yoga into whatever religion or spiritual practice you currently have--or if you don't have one at all, even better! 

3) You DON'T have to wear Lululemon clothing or have an expensive mat. You can wear whatever you feel most comfortable in-- whether it's sweat pants, shorts, or your pjs. No one cares what you're wearing--except you;) 

4) Everyone has experienced their first class. It's okay that you don't know what you're doing. It's okay that you haven't done it before. It's okay that you feel awkward and weird and are constantly wondering if you're doing down-dog correctly. The most important thing about yoga is just to show up and get on your mat--to get out of your head and into your body. I promise you it's okay to feel like you don't know what you're doing. 

5) People fart in yoga. It's OKAY. I do it fairly regularly. No one really cares except YOU and possibly the person sitting in front of behind you;)

6) Just do it. I have so many people tell me, "I've always wanted to practice yoga but never really gotten around to it" so much that I now just nod my head and smile. If you really want to practice then do it, if not, quit telling me you want to practice because subconsciously you know I practice and you feel like it's the right thing to say. It's okay if you don't like yoga. It's okay if you don't ever want to take the first class. It needs to be a personal conviction and yearning--not something that you feel obligated to do because the rest of America is doing it.

And lastly...

the poses aren't the point of yoga. Yes, you do get the added benefit of watching your body change and as you become more aware of yourself and make that connection between your mind and your body things become different but I don't practice yoga in order to contort my body into various shapes. Everyone has different reasons for practicing yoga--and I'm not saying yours can't be to transform your body into a "yoga body" but that isn't the reason I personally practice.  And anyone who stays with anything longer than a few months knows what I'm talking about. Yoga is a wonderful pathway on an adventure with yourself that is sometimes difficult to achieve with other forms of "exercise". My reasons for practicing and continuing to practice have changed a lot over the years. Yours may too. And that's A-Ok! 

I enjoyed my little 31 day challenge and from the looks and sounds of what I've read, you have too. And that makes my little heart very happy. 

Thank you for your kind, encouraging, and thoughtful words and comments. It truly made the days and month much more meaningful and special. 

If you have any questions or comments, please don't hesitate to contact me! 

Thanks for playing along with me and HAPPY JUNE!!!!!

As Always,
Jennifer







I believe...

As I am relaxing in what is most likely my last Thanksgiving break (from school since hopefully by this time next year I’ll be gainfully employed), I thought it would be a good time to dust off the ole blog and write something that the majority of you could care less about—but for the few that do—this is for youJ

I believe that the power of suggestion is the most powerful tool out there.

I believe that my Dad is truly super human. My mom reminded me today that my dad recently had his wisdom teeth taken out—he went on his lunch break, had the procedure, then went directly back to work and saw 20 patients that afternoon. He’s also moved my siblings and I into and out of at least 25 places between the 4 of us. And I’ve never heard him complain once.

I believe that the best education lies outside of the classroom. And that degrees aren’t really necessary to do most of the things you want to do.

I believe that people who guilt people into trying to be better humans or better friends or lovers, etc, etc—are sad. Because you should never make someone feel guilty in order to make yourself feel better.

I believe that the whole “friends with benefits” thing doesn’t really exist and is far more damaging than beneficial.

I believe that rocking on my balcony is one of life’s greatest delights and it reminds me of how much I love where I live and this phase of my life—because I also realize that it won’t last forever.

I believe that I’m actually terrified of getting a real job and the closer it gets to graduation, the more I start researching more schooling.

I believe that I should start dating more—or period. I know I’m still “young” and that “only people in the south get married this young” and all that jazz but I also realize that I’ll be 32 in January and I would love to eventually have a partner to share my life with. I also want to be a mom. Those are two things that I don’t think about much but as of late I have more than usual.

I believe that my nephew is the greatest person on the planet and that if I could be half as resilient and strong and brave as him that I’ll have succeeded.

I believe that I could read articles all day long (particularly from The New York Times, The New Yorker, Huffington Post, Washington Post, The Atlantic, Brain Pickings, Elephant Journal, just to make a few) and feel inspired and like I’m doing something really important.

I believe that I’ve mellowed a lot as I’ve aged—nothing is as big of a deal as it once was. But I can still be pretty intenseJ

I believe that all people have a tendency to talk bad about other people—even if there is no other apparent reason than that they are bored and feel the need to be seen as “cool” to whomever they are talking to. This, however, is never cool.

I believe (or have come to realize) that I trust very few people—even the ones I like a lot and feel close to. I don’t know whether this is smart or a defense mechanism. Or both.

I believe that if you don’t have an awesome gay guy friend, you are seriously missing out.

I believe that sometimes washing your face is all you need to do to change your perspective or start your day over.

I believe that the single most important thing we can do every day is to let the people in our life know how much they matter to us.

And I believe that this is enough.

Happy Thanksgiving Week!

the whole is greater than the sum of its parts: an open letter to my family and friends

It’s hard to believe I moved to Jackson, MS 4 years ago today. It’s hard to believe that my life is my life when I really stop and think about it. I don’t have to go into specifics (I’ve already written plenty of blogs about that) but my life was indeed, very different 4 years ago than it is today.

4 years ago I didn’t have a penny to my name, I had lost yet another job, I had been evicted from my apartment, and I had very few friends who would still speak to me.

The best thing my Dad ever did for me was kick me out of his house. After years of trying to save his daughter, he did the only thing that was left and the very thing he should have done years before.

When I threw my few belongings in the back of my Xterra and drove the overly familiar route to Jackson, I had no idea what was in store for me. I had no intention on staying sober. I just wanted to stop hurting. In all honesty, what I really wanted was to just disappear.

4 years ago I had no idea that what I would find in Jackson, MS would be myself. I had no idea that I would get my shit together (for the most part), stay sober, go back to school, become involved in a community of amazing people, find a church home, live on my own, get out of debt (except school loans of course), dye my hair red, then back to blonde…….

However, the biggest obstacles I had to overcome really weren’t the external ones. They were much more internal than I realized. I never thought I would ever be emotionally stable, I never thought I would be comfortable in my own skin and I never thought I’d really learn to let things go. But stretch by stretch and inch by inch, I have.

My mom always tells people that it has taken a village to raise me and it’s so true. It’s taken several communities and villages to teach this girl how to live.

I believe that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts (good ole Gestalt psychology). When applied to my life, it means that the entirety of my life is greater than just me.

I’ve flourished the past 4 years because of the people that are in my life. All the people past and present have each given me the invaluable gift of themselves. I am overwhelmed when I really sit down and think about all the love I receive on a daily basis from you all. Every text, phone call, smile, visit, meal that I share with you fills my heart to the brim. Just being in your presence gives me the hope and courage I need to keep on going.

So today, I honor you. To all the people that make up both my inner circle and larger circles, thank you.

Thank you for being my friend; thank you for making me laugh; thank you for calling me out when I’m being completely and utterly ridiculous; and thank you for reminding me that sometimes it’s okay to be completely and utterly ridiculous. Thank you for holding my hand and jumping with me over hurdles that always appear too high, but never actually are.

In short, thank you for loving me—even when my flaws are glaringly present. But most of all, thank you for not giving up on me. You probably have no idea how much you mean to me but I will tell you this, if everything I had fell away in an instant, I would be okay as long as I knew that I had you by my side.

These past 4 years have only been possible because of you.

Thank you for making my life so meaningful and so much fun to live; thank you for infusing my life with more joy than I ever thought possible.

This day belongs to you.

Today, I celebrate you.

Here’s to the next run around the sun.

As always,

Yours,

J.E.N

*to read my posts from years 2 and 3 click here and here*

what my parents have taught me about love and relationships

Yesterday my parents celebrated their 33^rd wedding anniversary. December 8, 1979. My mom was 29 and my dad was 30. They lived in Memphis, TN and although they attended the same college (University of Tennessee at Martin) they didn’t meet until almost 10 years later at Bellevue Baptist Church. My mom was a school teacher (kindergarten and first grade) and my dad was in the Navy and had just gotten accepted into medical school.

Both of my parents come from humble beginnings. My dad grew up on a dairy farm in a little city called Dresden, TN and my mom grew up in Memphis, TN where my grandfather worked for the railroad.

Everyone loves my parents. Whether they’ve met them once or grew up near us, people continually stop me and tell me how much they love my parents. The older I get, the more I see what an absolutely amazing feat 33 years of marriage must be. I’ve really never known another couple like them.

I was born during my dad’s first year of medical school. And they went on to have both my brothers in med school/ residency and then my sister was born the first year my dad actually started working as a Dr. He was 40 years old.

My parents will be the first to tell you that it’s been a rough road. It hasn’t been 33 years of pure bliss or anything like they imagined it would be. It’s been hard. It’s been a struggle and I’m sure they’ve thought about throwing in the towel several times over the past 33 years.

The difference between my parents and most everyone else (including myself) is that when they made a commitment to each other 33 years ago, they really made a commitment. My dad will tell you that the reason they are still together today is because divorce was not an option for them. No matter what.

  My dad has told me countless times the story of their courtship/romance/marriage. Those early morning jogs with my dad taught me a lot. He told me that he was a Navy party boy who drank and smoked too much and when he moved to Memphis to attempt to get into medical school, he realized that he had to change because what he was doing wasn’t working. (sound familiar?—yep, I’m much more like my dad than most people realize). He always tells me how scared of commitment he was and that he frequently asked himself if he was dating the “right” girl and even if marriage was for him or not.

Eventually he took the plunge and asked my mom to marry him. He said he prayed about it and realized that my mom had two qualities that were high up on his list—those qualities were that 1) she loved God and 2) she loved life.

The secret to my parent’s long-term marriage is this: They made a vow before God to honor and love each other through the good times and through the bad. Their marriage hasn’t been based on their feelings for one another. I can assure you that there have been multiple mornings when they didn’t “feel” that spark that was once there. I’m sure their love life wasn’t always “steamy and hot”. I feel confident that throughout their marriage both of them were attracted to members of the opposite sex at times and I’m sure that there were many mornings when they questioned whether or not they made the right decision.

But the difference is that they didn’t base their relationship on feelings, sex, promises, money, appearances, security—they based their relationship upon spiritual principles that allowed them from making those “feelings” or thoughts about sabotaging their marriage from becoming a reality.

They’ve worked hard at their marriage. They’ve worked hard at learning to fall in love over and over again. They’ve learned from each other, grown with each other, and figured out life together. My parents are best friends. They are not only married to each other but they would rather hang out together than with anyone else (except their kids, of course).

In this day and age, that type of commitment and dedication is rare. Over half of marriages fail because one of the parties decides they aren’t happy and that they don’t “feel” the same way they did when they first got married. My reaction to this is “well, tough shit.” If I based my actions on whether or not I was happy or unhappy, I’d never follow through with anything. Feeling happy is a great thing, don’t get me wrong. But when you come right down to it, what does “being happy” even mean?

I won’t go off into my usual Jennifer tangent about the meaning of happiness  but seriously—when people tell me they are unhappy in their marriage or their relationship and they can’t pinpoint exactly why they are unhappy—then Houston, we have a problem. And chances are, more than likely, that problem is themselves.

I know, I know--you’re right. I’ve never been married. Not even close to being married. But I’ve been in a lot of relationships and I continue to watch and observe everyone around me who is in one.

Watching my parent’s relationship has taught me this—we can’t seek happiness from our spouse or partner—we just can’t. If our happiness and reason for living is based on anything other than ourselves, we will always fail. We’ll be unhappy in every relationship we enter.

Happiness will always come and go. Passion will always come and go. Our sex lives will wax and wane. We’ll have feelings for people who aren’t our spouse; We’ll question whether we married the right person or are in the right relationship; We’ll say things we don’t mean and we’ll also say things we really mean but shouldn’t have said; We’ll face all kinds of trials and all kinds of joy; We’ll both admire and respect our partners and also find them disgusting and boring at the same time.

This is life--in all its many forms. I don’t know why people think marriage would be any different. I don’t care who you are, at some point in your life, you will experience everything in the paragraph above. You may think you’re different or your relationship is different but trust me, it’s not.

My personal theory is that whomever you’re with is the right person. I do not believe there is one “special” or “unique” individual out there for all of us. I think that whomever you’re with is that “special” or “unique” person. And if you don’t think they are, then you’re going to waste the rest of your life trying to find something and someone that doesn’t exist.

Marriage is no walk in the park. My parents have shown me that. They’ve also shown me what happens if you continue to stick it out and work hard in your relationship; they’ve taught me that when life gets tough, that doesn’t mean you get to run away; when things get ugly, you don’t have to hide.  You have to show up whether you feel like it or not.

So next time, before you decide to get married, divorced, end a relationship, or start a relationship—remember my parents. Remember that if you really want to make your relationship work, you can. Remember what I always say about feelings: what we know about feelings is that they change—constantly. So do yourself and your partner (and future partners) a favor and remember this.

My parents have left us a most amazing legacy.

I only hope that one day, I will be able to have this type of relationship--a relationship that isn’t based on self but on selflessness—a relationship that is based in reality and not in fantasy—a relationship that is rooted in deep love and understanding.

Congrats, mom and Dad! Here’s to 33 more years!

honest moments

I love Friday mornings when I don’t have school and I get to sleep for more than 5 hours because my body knows it can relax because the stress of the week is over.

 I love that I can lollygag and drink coffee and surf the web for hours and not consider it unproductive or wasteful.

 I love that my biggest problems today are that my house isn’t clean and that my laundry isn’t done.

 I love that all my relationships with others are good and that drama isn’t a part of my life anymore. 

I love that I genuinely don’t care of what other people think of me.

 I love that I didn’t wake up with any regrets about yesterday or the day before.

I really like that my feelings no longer control my actions or consume my thoughts.

 I really like that it’s supposed to get cooler this weekend. 

I like that if there is something I don’t like about my life or about myself that I know how to change it. 

I like that I don’t live with constant “should haves” floating around in my head. (Ex. “I should have gotten up earlier and run 5 miles.” “I should have not eaten that bowl of ice cream last night”. You get the point.)

I love that I can embrace the fact that on the spectrum of perfection and worthlessness is being human --and that is where I am today.

I love that I can look at everyone in my life as my teachers—and that I have the insight to remind myself to stay teachable.

I love that I don’t have to figure everything out today--that I get to only concern myself with what I’m going to do for the next 24 hours.

I’m thankful that I woke up this morning with this perspective on life.

And lastly, I’m thankful that I woke up period.

Happy weekend, friends! 

blessed are the flexible...

.…for they shall never be bent out of shape.

One of the traits I most admire and respect in people is their mental flexibility. I believe that it’s the hallmark sign of an emotionally healthy and mature person. What gets us most bent out of shape is our expectations. We expect things to go a certain way and for people to act a certain way and when things don’t go as planned or when people don’t act like we think they should—we get upset. We get frustrated and angry and throw a fit like a 2 year old. Yet if you step back from any situation and change your perception and ask yourself, “Does this really matter in the grand scheme of things?”—I think you’ll find that the answer is always no. It doesn’t really matter. It’s usually never a life or death matter. It’s a matter of changing the way you view things.

I think being mentally inflexible isn’t something we’re often aware of. Our professor changes something on the syllabus or forgets to tell us something about a test and we FREAK out. Why? Our professors are human. They make mistakes too. A friend makes dinner plans with you two weeks in advance and then cancels on you 15 minutes before you walk out the door. Throwing a fit isn’t going to affect your friend. It’s only going to affect you. You realize there’s been a miscommunication with your co-worker and you completed the wrong paper work for a client. Blaming your co-worker might make you feel good for a few seconds but why not change your perception and realize that it’s just not that big of a deal-- even if you wasted a few hours. You can either choose to look at it as “wasted time” or as a learning tool. 

Earlier this week I had movie plans with a friend. She told me I could choose the movie. I chose Argo. I’ve been dying to see this film and had been looking forward to seeing it for days. I needed a strong, emotionally resilient film for the state of mind I was in. I didn’t want to see a quirky, weird, independent film. I usually really like those—but not that day. I wanted to leave the theater with that feeling of triumph.

Yet I looked at the wrong times for the theater we were going to. I looked at the time for the movie showing on Lakeland. But we went to Madison. When we got there the movie was sold out and had started 20 minutes before. Without any hesitancy I said, “Well what’s playing in the next few minutes?” and lo and behold another movie was playing that we also wanted to see (Seven Psychopaths) and so we bought tickets and continued along with our plans. Although the movie was weird and quirky and I did not leave the theater with feelings of wonder and amazement about the human race, it was a funny film and I enjoyed spending time with my friend.

The Jennifer a year ago (and possibly a week ago) would have been put out that she wasn’t going to get to see the one film she was dying to see. She would have pouted or sulked and possibly looked up times for the same film at other theaters. (ok I’ll stop the typing in 3^rd person).

But I didn’t. I really didn’t think too much about it. And it wasn’t until the movie was over and we were walking out of the theater that I begin to process this. And then I realized what I’ve really been trying to learn the past few years is how to be mentally flexible. You can call it “go with the flow”, “compensation” “adaption”…there are many words that mean the same thing. But it all boils down to being able to cope when things don’t go the way I want them too. Being able to adapt and change my perspective because that keeps my quality of life high. The more time I spend thinking about what should have happened or what could have happened is time that has been spent in the past and not the present. It serves no purpose. It doesn’t allow me to enjoy my life because I’m thinking about something that went awry. 

Why is it so hard for us to stop, realize what’s going on, accept that there’s nothing we can do about it, and then move forward? Why does no one do this? Why have I just started doing this? My life would have been SO much easier if I had started realizing this and practicing this before now. But it’s just now really dawned on me that this is what I’ve been working towards for the past 3 years.

I want to be mentally flexible. When things don’t go my way, when people cancel on me, when my family and friends disappoint me, when I don’t like the movie someone picks or the place to eat someone picks, or when my hypothetical boyfriend and I have a misunderstanding. I want to be able to stop. Realize what’s going on. And I want to ask myself if this really matters. And 9 times out of 10 I bet it won’t. And then I want to shift my attitude and perspective and say, “carry on”. 

That’s my goal.

If you see me get bent out of shape (and I’m sure you will because heaven knows I’m not perfect) then I hope you also see me adapt and change my perspective and quickly resolve whatever misunderstanding or expectation that existed in the first place.

You don’t have to throw a fit. Or if you do that’s okay. But you don’t have to allow it to change your attitude and affect your entire day. You are responsible for your actions and words regardless of the way you feel.

So let’s start a revolution and strive to become mentally flexible. The real test will be the next time someone lets you down or your expectations are shattered or someone cancels on you….how will you react? I don’t know—but let’s just try being flexible and see what happens next.

“Nothing in the world is more flexible and yielding than water. Yet when it attacks the firm and the strong, none can withstand it, because they have no way to change it. So the flexible overcome the adamant, the yielding overcome the forceful. Everyone knows this, but no one can do it.”

Lao Tzu