5 months ago.....

I smoked my last cigarette. After about 8 years of smoking up to 2 packs a day, I said good bye to what was my best friend…the cigarette.

I can truly hardly believe I have been 5 whole months without holding a cigarette between my fingers, putting it to my lips, puffing and inhaling the hot, burning, toxic fumes into my throat, esophagus, nasal passages, sinuses and lungs. That’s funny for me to say because no one loved to smoke as much as I did. I loved almost every moment I inhaled the sweet, relaxing, exhilarating smoke into my lungs. I romanticized smoking to the core. I started smoking when I was 19 and lived in England. “It’s a very European thing to smoke” I would tell myself. I likened myself to Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby and imagined myself holding a long, thin cigarette holder as I gazed out of my balcony pondering what amazing and glorious party would be attended that night. Ha! 

 or Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's. 

or Edie Sedgewick 

I’m an idealist for sure. It took me years to realize I was infact, NOT living the American dream. I was killing myself with alcohol, drugs, and last but not least, cigarettes while romanticizing that I was Edie Sedgewick and Daisy Buchanan. After I gave up the booze and other substances, it took me 9 months to finally be ready and willing to put the “butt” down. I made a plan and I put it into action. My Father’s 61st birthday was July 1^st. and for his birthday and in honor of him, I quit killing myself with the poison that is the cigarette.  I utilized the patch and can honestly say that it was not near as difficult as I thought it would be. I used the patch faithfully for 3 months. And at the end of those 3 months, I quit using the patch and have been nicotine free for 2 months now! I was worried about gaining weight and what I would do when I drove and talked on the phone. Those were the times when I smoked the most. OH, and when I got stressed. I have since found new ways of dealing with stress that although have not been near as harmful as the cigarette; have been pretty taxing on the people in my life! Here is a big SHOUT OUT to all the people that have put up with my many occasional mood swings, hyperactivity, non-sense, frantic antics, and over-all ridiculousness that has been me for the past 5 months. You guys deserve a lot more than I can give you!

According to Quitnet, I have been smoke free for 153 days. There are

5,335 cigarettes not smoked, 1 month 10 days and 21 hours of my life saved, and $1,330.00 not spent! WOW. That’s been the best birthday present yet, Dad…hasn’t it?!?!

On the whole, I have enjoyed my 5 months of being a non-smoker. I feel truly free from it’s addicting force. I also don’t feel the guilt I did when I was smoking…especially around children, animals, people in general. I had guilt over littering, bad breath, stinky clothes, etc, etc… the list is endless. I feel good about the choice I’ve made. I like that I’m not poisoning my body anymore. I like that my sister lets my nephew ride in my car since I don’t smoke in it anymore. I like that my hands don’t smell of smoke and neither do my clothes. I just like being a non-smoker! Of course, I know those of you out there that are still smokers and are reading this are probably about to pop me in the head as well as call me a few four letter words. Don’t worry. No judgement here. It took what it took before I was ready to quit and might I say, “to each his own”.  Or “live and let live”. (now I’m making myself laugh). I still can’t say that I will never pick up a cigarette again. I certainly hope I don’t but hey, I’m pretty much the most human-ness of all humans. However, if I live only one day at a time, I can do anything.  Of that I am thoroughly convinced.