on getting and being gotten

I heard a friend of mine mention this subject last night and it made me start to think....and because i'm still thinking about it, i decided to blog about it. so here i go...my thoughts on "being gotten". 

How many times have you thought to yourself, “they just don’t get me.”? Whether you were referring to your parents, your partner, your best friend, your boss….whomever… it’s something that I think most of us have said at more than one time in our life. I know I have. (and sometimes still do).

Before I got sober it was a very common theme in my life—people just didn’t “get me”. They didn’t understand who I was or how I felt or why I was doing the things I was doing—they didn’t know what it was like to be ME. If they did, surely they would be more sympathetic, more tolerant, more “on my side”.

And then I got sober and it was kind of the same deal—they didn’t understand what I was going through, what it was like to be “sober”, what it was like to be an addict, what it was like to have my family, my job, my situation, my, my, my……

And then as I began growing as a human being—and making necessary changes in my life, I began to realize that it doesn’t matter…

It doesn’t matter who “gets” me or if anyone ever “truly” understands me. It doesn’t matter because today I “get” myself. I understand me. And I understand that it’s not all about me……….. that’s the real thing. Having the mentality of “being gotten” is exceptionally selfish and it also reinforces the role of a victim….it’s thinking of myself and how I want you to “get” me and blaming issues and things we don’t understand on the statement: “you just don’t get me”. And it also presumes the idea that you’re thinking about me and that you also want to “get” me. I bet you don’t. I bet you really didn’t want to ”get” half the people you worried about “getting” you.

When I gave up my right to “being gotten” things started changing….for the better.

I was more at peace, more tolerant, and more content…

And the main reason for that is because I became comfortable in my own skin….and I finally came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter….it really doesn't.

You are who you are, and I am who I am….and If we can just remember that we’re here to love each other and be of maximum service to God and others—then I think we’ll all be “gotten” just fine.

When I gave up my right to be “gotten”, I embraced acceptance.

What about you?

Do you still need people to “get” you?

And if so, do you really “get” yourself?

(Oh the irony!)

I love when little lessons like this pop up and make me realize that it took my past to allow me to see and understand what I do today.

And the beauty is that I’ll always have these little learning lessons pop up because I’ll never be finished learning…I’ll never be at that place where there is nothing left to learn—because there always is.

I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday immensely.

Click here to see the 15 things you should give up to be happy.

(the title of this blog came from here)

“It is very easy to be tricked by the circumstances of the present moment. But, dear seeker, remember that everything changes! Life is an exercise not in adding, but in constantly letting go of what you know and who you think you are and to have the courage to become brand new. When we fixate on the past, we welcome it into our present moment, which keeps the past alive. When you give up the fight THAT is when you’ll take flight!”

- Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath.

Love and Hate

Much has happened this last week of cultural importance and is extended onto this week with a lot of cultural and personal importance….

The devastating Tornadoes hit our State and surrounding States…with lots of loved ones lost in the natural disaster

I finished my last Physics test this morning…still waiting on the results but feelings of impending doom is looming on the horizon

My final is Friday at 8am.

I work my last shift at Anthropologie Wednesday

I have a huge gas bubble under my left rib that showed up on my chest x-ray. Yes it hurts and yes I have terrible gas. Be forewarned!

Osama Bin Ladin was killed yesterday (supposedly)

I loved what my friend, Jason Armstrong, posted on his facebook page….

“Osama bin Laden already buried at sea? Yeah right. The government would never lie about this, would it? I'd say there's a 50% chance bin Laden is sitting in Malibu eating ice cream right now.”

But I really liked when Jason quoted Martin Luther King, Jr….

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

 Because that, my friends, nails it on the head for me.

Yes, we supposedly killed the man who was in charge of 911 and I can not say that I am sad he is dead. But, his ideology is still very much alive and are we not aligning ourselves with his ideology by celebrating and rejoicing over his death?!?!

Let’s be the change we want to see in the world.

Let’s drive out hate with love!

Thank you Jason for posting that!

My intention this week will focus on the healing energies of my mind and body—and how they may radiate forth and emanate goodness, love, and compassion to all who cross my path. And to those who are in mourning and  in pain.

May God continue to bless America. 

29, ready or not, here i come!

On the eve of my 29th birthday, i was pondering the significance of age and thinking about my life. as i do every year. as if something special changes ON the very day of my birthday. it doesn't. but i always think it will. 

as I was thinking of something profound and epic to write, i stumbled upon this little email i sent to a friend about a year ago. 

i thought it was perfect. 

summing up things i've learned in my 20s. no, really.....in all my almost 29 years of existence. 

i hope you enjoy. 

*happy early birthday to me.*

Here I am. All of me. No hustle, no half-truth, no back door escapes. This is me.

I’ve been constructively reviewing my almost 28 years of existence recently. This has been brought on by a myriad of events that have really gotten me thinking and asking myself, “What have I learned?” and “what will be different from this point on out?” You see, I’ve made a host of mistakes over and over again….which is the definition of insanity, and I am unwilling to continue to be insane. Everyday is a battle for me—a constant struggle to truly be the person I was created to be, and not the self-destructive person that I’ve created myself. I have begun to take a continuous look at my assets and liabilities because I do have a real desire to learn and grow.  So, Jennifer Nanney, what have you learned?

I’ve learned that I am NOT the center of the universe. I am not the center of your life.

I’ve learned that I am 100% responsible for my actions, reactions, and emotions. If I have a problem with you, it’s simply because I have a huge problem with myself.

I’ve learned that I have absolutely zero control over people and their emotions.

 As much as I want to save the entire world and ensure that everyone is “ok” and at peace with themselves, all I can actually do is save myself and make sure that I’m ok and at peace with myself.

I am learning that I cannot allow feelings to dictate my actions….if I want to change how I feel, I must change how I act and keep at it long enough until acting in a healthy manner is as comfortable as acting in a self-defeating manner.

I have learned that who I am in a relationship with says as much about me as it does about them.

I am learning the development of self-restraint. When I speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin my relation with another person for a whole day, or even a whole year.

 I am learning to avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When I am tempted by bait, it is imperative that I should step back and think….before I react in a way that later I will be very sorry for.

I have learned that all people, including myself, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and am learning to approach them with true tolerance and real love.

I have learned that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like me, are suffering from the pains of growing up.

I am learning that my pains of failure are turning into assets. Out of my pain I am receiving the stimulation I need to go forward.

I am learning to examine my motives. Why do I do the things I do? Is it for good or for evil?

An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow are the permanent assets that I am seeking.

I have learned that acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life unacceptable to me. And I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I have to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

I have learned that my peace of mind is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations on others, the lower my peace of mind is.

I have learned that I have to watch my inches on a daily basis so that I don’t have to deal with miles.

I must add a few others that i just thought of:

I've learned that my parents WERE right. they are my biggest heroes today.

I've learned that i'm a lot tougher than I ever thought I was.

I've learned that really, anything is possible....it's just a matter of changing your perception.

That's all.

Oh, my intention for my 29th year?

To Live Like I Mean It.

Here's to you, 29! May you be my best year yet.