on getting and being gotten

I heard a friend of mine mention this subject last night and it made me start to think....and because i'm still thinking about it, i decided to blog about it. so here i go...my thoughts on "being gotten". 

How many times have you thought to yourself, “they just don’t get me.”? Whether you were referring to your parents, your partner, your best friend, your boss….whomever… it’s something that I think most of us have said at more than one time in our life. I know I have. (and sometimes still do).

Before I got sober it was a very common theme in my life—people just didn’t “get me”. They didn’t understand who I was or how I felt or why I was doing the things I was doing—they didn’t know what it was like to be ME. If they did, surely they would be more sympathetic, more tolerant, more “on my side”.

And then I got sober and it was kind of the same deal—they didn’t understand what I was going through, what it was like to be “sober”, what it was like to be an addict, what it was like to have my family, my job, my situation, my, my, my……

And then as I began growing as a human being—and making necessary changes in my life, I began to realize that it doesn’t matter…

It doesn’t matter who “gets” me or if anyone ever “truly” understands me. It doesn’t matter because today I “get” myself. I understand me. And I understand that it’s not all about me……….. that’s the real thing. Having the mentality of “being gotten” is exceptionally selfish and it also reinforces the role of a victim….it’s thinking of myself and how I want you to “get” me and blaming issues and things we don’t understand on the statement: “you just don’t get me”. And it also presumes the idea that you’re thinking about me and that you also want to “get” me. I bet you don’t. I bet you really didn’t want to ”get” half the people you worried about “getting” you.

When I gave up my right to “being gotten” things started changing….for the better.

I was more at peace, more tolerant, and more content…

And the main reason for that is because I became comfortable in my own skin….and I finally came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter….it really doesn't.

You are who you are, and I am who I am….and If we can just remember that we’re here to love each other and be of maximum service to God and others—then I think we’ll all be “gotten” just fine.

When I gave up my right to be “gotten”, I embraced acceptance.

What about you?

Do you still need people to “get” you?

And if so, do you really “get” yourself?

(Oh the irony!)

I love when little lessons like this pop up and make me realize that it took my past to allow me to see and understand what I do today.

And the beauty is that I’ll always have these little learning lessons pop up because I’ll never be finished learning…I’ll never be at that place where there is nothing left to learn—because there always is.

I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday immensely.

Click here to see the 15 things you should give up to be happy.

(the title of this blog came from here)

“It is very easy to be tricked by the circumstances of the present moment. But, dear seeker, remember that everything changes! Life is an exercise not in adding, but in constantly letting go of what you know and who you think you are and to have the courage to become brand new. When we fixate on the past, we welcome it into our present moment, which keeps the past alive. When you give up the fight THAT is when you’ll take flight!”

- Jackson Kiddard, author & polymath.