Weight Watchers: Wait, What?

Okay……so, I have a confession to make. And if you read the title of this blog you will know what it is. Ha!

Yep, that’s right. I took the plunge. I decided to try and get into the solution over my current addiction (food) and take some action to try and develop a healthy relationship with it.

Weight Watchers, here I come!

After contemplating the last several years of my life I realized that I either am always:

A)   Starving myself—by eating ultra healthy, running like a Fein, being a perfectionist in the area of diet and exercise, telling myself I’m awesome

to

B) Binging on junk food, being as lazy as possible, shirking my responsibilities, talking negative towards myself

And it has to stop. It really does. I’m sick of it. It has caused me enough pain and I’m ready to take some action against it.

I honestly never considered Weight Watchers because I’ve never really been “over weight”. I have been heavier at times than others but I never have really gotten above a size 8.

But it’s not just the weight thing that’s an issue. It’s my unhealthy relationship with food; always either obsessing too much about it or not enough about it; eating too much or not enough; Thinking about all the time, judging myself based on what I eat or don’t eat.

ENOUGH I tell you!

I ran into a co-worker of mine at a shower for a friend of ours the other weekend. She looked more amazing than usual—with this beautiful glow about her. and when I told her how outstanding she looked she replied, “why thank you girl, it’s all due to Weight Watchers!”. WOW. It got my little mind to thinking.

And then when I posted this post last Thursday, I realized that I was at the point to where I would be willing to try something different. Very similar to how I felt (in a completely different way of course) when I knew I was done with drinking and wanted to try A.A.

So, I called her. And we talked and talked and shared and I realized that this is something that I need. I need others that are like me, to help me with this unhealthy relationship I’ve had or developed towards food. I need accountability and motivation. And I love the fact that by doing this, I will help others do the same! Weight Watchers offers all of that and more by what I’ve seen and learned and I am very excited about taking this step forward in my life!

I have to be honest with you though. At first, when I first admitted to myself that I have a problem with food and would be willing to try Weight Watchers, I felt like a failure. I felt a lot of shame and guilt and was almost embarrassed telling people what I was doing. It’s hard admitting you have a problem. I’ve done it a lot now and although it does get easier, it’s still hard.

But it’s also comforting to know that I am not alone. I can’t tell you how many people have messaged me telling me their struggles. Whether they are with food, sex, relationships, shopping, alcohol, drugs—everyone DOES struggle with something; with being too perfect, or not perfect enough; with parenting and marriage and work; with being too hard on yourself or not hard enough.

Such is Life.

But after I examined why I was embarrassed and ashamed and guilty about confessing to my latest struggle, I realized that it was only because it’s me admitting to you that I’m not perfect.(Again). That I DON’T have it all together; that even though my life has drastically improved over the last 2 years, I still struggle; daily; I still have a very hard time living life on life’s terms.

So there, it’s out of the bag—I’m a food addict and I’m going to do something about it! I go to my first meeting Tuesday at 12. I'll be sure and keep you posted;) 

After I tackle this I’m sure there will be something else, but for right now, I’m okay with the imperfections, I’m okay with this struggle, I’m okay with the path I’m on.

I’m growing, learning, struggling—it’s my journey! And when everything is said and done, I freakin’ love my journey. I love the path I’m on.

And that’s enough right now for me.

“Life has meaning only in the struggle. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the Gods. So let us celebrate the struggle!” ~Swami Sivananda