Regarding Love, Dating, and all that jazz

(Please take note...this blog contains foul language and possibly may offend you. If so, you at least had my warning up front. This is not a "family" blog mainly due to the pictures i chose to post throughout it. with that, happy reading!)

I knew the day would come when I would have to address this subject. And I guess since it’s been a recurring question in the last week (especially) that the time is now.

Most people want to know how it’s possible that I am 29 and single and also why I’m not married.

(my brother calls me once a week asking me if I’ve found a man yet…which is both endearing and annoying).

I always respond by saying,

“have you ever met me?”

Surely, if you have, you would know the answer to that.

But (*le sigh*), they don’t.

And I guess, I don’t really know the answer to it either.

But here is what I do know about myself.

1)     I’m pretty picky. I don’t like someone just to like them. I don’t date people just so that I’m not alone. Which brings me to point deux.

2)    I love being alone. I also love people, but I especially enjoy my alone time. This is also a very selfish reason, and I’m completely aware of that. But for the last year, I have enjoyed just taking care of myself. I’ve enjoyed bonding with other women. And I’ve gotten a LOT accomplished. More than I ever could in a relationship.

3)    I’m a little scared. Well, that’s actually a lie. I’m a lot scared. If you examine the past decade of my relationship history, you will find the missing weapons of mass destruction.

4)    I’m scared you'll hurt me

5)    But i'm more scared i'll hurt you

6)    I haven’t really had anything to offer you. Except a lot of drama and un-necessary baggage.

7)     I’ve just talked myself out of it

8)    It’s just too complicated

9)    There’ s no number nine because I’m tired of writing about this.

I think the real answer for me and probably for you is that it’s just not the right time. Not the right person. Not the right situation.

not

the

right

time.

Or is it?

I don’t know. You tell me.

Side note: Don’t get me wrong, I love to love. I love falling in love; I love the idea of love; I love the concept; but I hate dating. I think it’s stupid and pretentious.

But I can tell you that I'm really not all that worried about it. and if I'm not worried about it, then you probably shouldn't be either. 

                                     

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

 ~Tom Robbins