Week in Review

I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday again.

Whew. What a whirl-wind of a week!

I’ll pick up where I left off from my previous post (if you missed the last post, click here).

After failing my Physics test and the mini-meltdown that occurred after that, I knew exactly what I needed.

My family.

Fortunately for me, my family had scheduled a weekend trip to Tennessee to be with my grandmother on her 88^th birthday (My dad’s mom).  So, I jumped in my truck and headed to Memphis!

I had the most amazing time with my family. The only person missing was Clint. He had to stay and study. But it is very rare that all of us are ever together at one time. This time, we got pretty dang close.

Our “vacation” started off with a family trip to Whole Foods. I don’t think anybody loves Whole Foods more than the Nanneys do!

by the way, have i mentioned how much i adore my nephew?!?!

We all enjoyed a family lunch at Panera Bread.

We then all loaded up into our family’s suburban (that is 15 years old, by the way) and headed to Jackson, TN to our hotel. All of us children (including the baby) stayed in 1 room. It was just like old times.

We drove over to Dresden where my grandmother lives and got to visit with her before heading out to eat with the majority of the Nanney family in Martin, TN.

After eating, we went back to my grandmother’s house and ate cake and watched her open her gifts.

My grandmother is so precious. She is so patient, gentle, kind, and loving. My dad reminds me so much of her. She always has a smile on her face. always.

It was such a lovely time. I am SO glad that I got to go and be with my family.


I even got to spend an extra day in Memphis with my youngest brother, Brian. It was so good to spend quality time with him. I honestly can't remember the last time just he and I got to hang out.

Of course, the biggest high light for me was getting to spend 3 days with my nephew. Words can not express how much this little fella means to me. He’s growing so quickly. Already crawling and attempting to walk.  

Upon returning to Jackson, I hit the ground running. Monday was a full day of school and then yesterday I had my interview for OT school. I must say that it went better than I expected. I will hear in 3-4 weeks whether I get in or not. The results are now out of my hands and I actually have a lot of serenity about the entire situation.

I also signed a lease yesterday in Belhaven. I will be returning to my favorite neighborhood very soon.

So much change in the past week.

So much to process.

So much to be grateful for.

I am blessed.

Fear of Failure

Yesterday was a really bad day. In fact, pretty much the worst day I’ve had since I’ve been sober.

I experienced a lot of emotional pain, the details are unnecessary, but boy oh boy did I want to change the way I felt. Almost every time I feel pain, it feels like the worst thing in the world. Like the sky is closing in and the entire universe is about to crash on my head.

Yes, I’m a tad dramatic if you hadn’t noticed that before;)

On top of that, I failed my Physics test.

Yes. I typed that correctly.

I FAILED.

Made a 50 to be even more precise.

For those of you who know me personally, this is both shocking and unacceptable. Jennifer Nanney does not fail things (except for the decade in which I was majorly failing at life). Not only have I never failed anything, but I’ve made it this far with only one C on my transcript. And that C was in Epistemology, so it really doesn’t count;)

I emailed my professor and told him that this totally blew my dream of becoming a Physics rock-star.

He replied, “ Don’t let one test grade deter you from that dream!”

and then I thought about it.

and then I tried to quit thinking about it.

and now I’ve just accepted the fact that I failed. I actually faced the fear of failure. and it didn't kill me. in fact, it will most surely make me stronger. 

The entire time I’ve been writing this blog, this one quote from a Tom Robbins novel keeps coming to mind,

So you think that you're a failure, do you? Well, you probably are. What's wrong with that? In the first place, if you've any sense at all you must have learned by now that we pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail. But fail with wit, fail with grace, fail with style. A mediocre failure is as insufferable as a mediocre success. Embrace failure! Seek it out. Learn to love it. That may be the only way any of us will ever be free.

But you know, although yesterday was hard, it wasn’t really that bad. The feeling of impending doom and complete and utter failure didn’t last that long.

 I went to dinner with one of my favorite people ever-- Rachel. And I was reminded of something while spending time with her. That people love me no matter what my test grades are. That people love me even when things get ugly. That people don’t expect me to be perfect all the time. And by “people” I mean my friends. I am truly blessed to have some of the most amazing friends in this lifetime. Friends that have my best interest at heart, Friends that feel my pain, Friends that feel my joy, Friends that love me no matter what.

Thank you, Friends! You make my life so much fun and meaningful. and beautiful and delicious!

Today is going to be a better day. I can already feel it in my bones.

(While I was winding down last night, I decided to go on a journey and look at some of my favorite images. I’ll share them with you here. It amazed me how much peace and serenity were brought by looking through these images. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did).

Happy Weekend!